Joe Veix

is a writer and editor
in san francisco

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newyorker:

Joe Veix imagines emergency texts to 911: http://nyr.kr/1lwoWZL

JIMMY PETERS: hey u up?
911: Hello! You’ve reached 911 Emergency Services. Please text us the nature of your emergency.
JIMMY PETERS: just drinkin, thinking bout you. wanna come over?
911: Do you require the police, fire department, or an ambulance?
JIMMY PETERS: don’t u miss what we had?
911: This is 911, we never had anything.

Photograph: Alan Singer/NBCU Photo Bank/Getty

newyorker:

Joe Veix imagines emergency texts to 911: http://nyr.kr/1lwoWZL

JIMMY PETERS: hey u up?

911: Hello! You’ve reached 911 Emergency Services. Please text us the nature of your emergency.

JIMMY PETERS: just drinkin, thinking bout you. wanna come over?

911: Do you require the police, fire department, or an ambulance?

JIMMY PETERS: don’t u miss what we had?

911: This is 911, we never had anything.

Photograph: Alan Singer/NBCU Photo Bank/Getty

(Source: newyorker.com)

The total response time was (remarkably) < 10 seconds.

The total response time was (remarkably) < 10 seconds.

Very ominous.

Very ominous.

On 7/24 Lyra Smith was five minutes late so I started texting her.

From now on, I&#8217;m only communicating with Emoji.

From now on, I’m only communicating with Emoji.

I&#8217;m 25 years old and just had to google image search &#8220;figs.&#8221;

I’m 25 years old and just had to google image search “figs.”

Bright lights big city.

Bright lights big city.

I had to go to Target today and it was awful.

I had to go to Target today and it was awful.