joe veix

blog of the
award winning*
writer and humorist

"A Tumblr blog actually worth
reading. Ultimately useless, yes,
but incredibly amusing."
- Encore Magazine

i write for:
the new yorker,
the awl, mcsweeney's,
someecards, splitsider,
death and taxes, witstream,
thought catalog, funny or die, armchair/shotgun, bygone bureau.

my work has also been featured on gawker, twaggies, and happy place.

i once sent weird postcards,
wrote witstream promos, made a supercut of guy fieri eating, scalped kraftwerk tickets, took the pranks out of jackass, live-tweeted a divorce, worked on louie, made a pinterest, text messaged a stranger, and became an official crowd amper for the Chicago Desire bikini basketball team.

i write jokes on twitter:
@joeveix

email me, i'm friendly:
joeveix[at]gmail[dot]com

questions?
ask

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Wolf Unit and Dragon Unit might be the coolest job titles in the world.

Wolf Unit and Dragon Unit might be the coolest job titles in the world.

“Thank the gods, old and new, I have my New York Giants too. Now THAT was a hell of a game. Not that the early action did not prompt a little head-banging, what with Eli tossing those three interceptions and all. That sound you heard was me, screaming, but Parris waved her magic Giants blanket and kept the faith, and in the fourth quarter Eli came roaring back… and how.”
— Ladies and Gentlemen: George R. R. Martin’s football recaps.

“In this Game of Thrones it’s eye for eye/There is no middle ground you either win or die.”