joe veix

I would like to adopt this Dog-Person.

The most suspicious dog. Don’t even try to pull a fast one, because he’s on to you.

Everyone is home for Thanksgiving, and all of my social media streams are crowded with photos of my friends’ beloved childhood pets. I never had a pet growing up, because of my father’s allergies, and I’m feeling kind of left out.

So here’s a photo of the chair I used to sit in as a kid, just wishing I had a Golden Retriever puppy named Hercules. I’d spend entire summers sitting there, imagining all the crazy adventures we’d go on, like that time we discovered the mill fire deep in the brambles of Fredrickson Gulch, or that other time me and Herc busted Old Man McGillicutty for stealing beets from the Jenson family farm. The local paper said we caught him “red-handed.” It was a simpler time.

But then Herc got sick. I’m not sure how my imaginary Golden Retriever puppy got imaginary eye cancer, but he did, and it was terminal. That’s just how the river of life flows, I guess. He was in a lot of pain, and eventually my parents made me take him out back behind our imaginary barn and put him down with our imaginary double-barreled shotgun. I can still hear the imaginary shot ringing out across the rolling meadows, and the tragic sound of his final betrayed whimpers. That was the day my childhood died.

Such a loving, loyal companion, this chair.

A few months ago my friends created dog movie posters for a charity event. Here’s one of them.

(via)

“Humps children.”

Reposting, because a few people commented about wanting to adopt Diesel, and I didn’t include any further information. Whoops.

If you want to adopt him, click here or email Laurette. To quote the Bulldog Club of America’s website:

“Diesel is LONELY! He is not able to hang out with his family much as he has a habit of humping the kids and their friends.He is a nice dog who needs a family who can focus on him. Diesel is waiting for you…”

“Humps children.” (Taken with Instagram)

*Update: Adoption information can be found here.

Take me with you, Beaglemobile.

Lesson learned.